I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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