Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize