We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
