Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
3 2 1 whiskey
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
