I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
