I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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