well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
