It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
