im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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