There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
