If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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