i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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