he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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