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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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