Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
