He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
