I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I will pee on everything he values.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
