Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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