arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think i got beer on your cat.
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