He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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