you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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