OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As shirtless as possible
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?