Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
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Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.