I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.