I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
