you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
