You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The cops high fived after they tackled you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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