a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
