Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
