Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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