And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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