He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
