she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
