Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
