so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they're like a gay fantastic four
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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