EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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