Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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