This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
