apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
