There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize