Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
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He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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