I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Porn is love you can see.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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