I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
