I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize