Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
