We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
