Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
