these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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