Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
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At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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