Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
