3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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