OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
