Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The air taste purple.
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