I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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