Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
