If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
