she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize