During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
