I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize