Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
