Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
